My list of Forgiveness
I was reading last night about forgiveness. I think I never acknowledge that people, for a fact, are going to hurt me, and it has nothing to do with me. I have hurt people too. It’s part of life I guess, the key to grow from the pain of being hurt is forgive. So this post is going to be a list of people I need to forgive, I encourage you do the same this new moon. Do it even if it is not the new moon, but we have to move on.
OK, so lets start with the obvious, my mom. My mom is the most intelligent and efficient woman on the planet. But she is hard on herself and as a result hard on the rest. I want to forgive my mom for having expectations of me, for making me feel like I was not enough when I didn’t accomplish those expectations. Then my dad, the opposite. He is also the smartest man but he is so sensitive, so kind and a lost soul in this hard world. I want to forgive him for not meeting my expectations of what a father should do. I forgive him also for giving me a lot of his insecurities.
Now lets jump to the not so obvious ones. First my brother, I want to forgive my brother for not loving me the way I need him to. For not giving me the attention and help that I always wanted from him. I want to forgive him for making me feel small all those times.
Lets move on to friends. First my best friend in elementary and middle school, I want to forgive her for making my life a living hell. For making me insecure and like I couldn’t be without her, for bossing me around, for not having my back and making me do whatever she said. Now my best friend in high school, I want to forgive her for doing the exact same thing, for treating badly, for not making my priorities her priorities and for only thinking about herself.
And you know, I think I want to forgive almost all the boys I’ve ever dated for the exact same things, for lying, for not seeing my worth, for not making me a priority, again for making me feel small, like I’m never enough for anybody. I’m seeing a pattern here.
So I guess my next forgiveness goes to myself. I forgive myself for letting all this people treat me this way. I forgive myself for every time I let myself feel smaller than others or not enough. For giving my power to others, keeping my mouth shut and not standing up for myself. For accepting less than what I deserve, and finally for not seeing my own worth and not making me my biggest priority
I forgive and so I let go…